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Thoughts on Worthiness

Do you ever feel like everything is going ok in life, and maybe little annoyances happen here and there, but you don't really register something is off kilter until something big happens?


I have mentioned that it is a really busy time at work and at the studio. I have felt the stress, but honestly felt like I was doing ok at handling it. I knew I was starting to wear thin when, over the weekend, I was getting irritated at a bunch of small things.


Then finally, on Tuesday, I woke up to my scalp peeling, two cold sores and a bunch of random breakouts. Ughhhhh. My body tends to freak out when I am going through stress. I had been ignoring all the little signs, and it was the final thing that said, "Hey, I need you to listen up!"


That morning, I got back in bed for a little bit, and I was contemplating how I got into this situation. I usually pride myself on being in tune with what is going on, but I obviously missed the mark on this one. One thought led to another and I somehow ended up thinking about worthiness, and what that means in my life. I mean, I probably thought about it for a solid 20+ minutes. I went deep.


I decided to try to take it easy for the rest of the day, so I took a partial day off. I just attended a meeting or two and did some tasks that I had to do. I tried to rest for the most part. And I pretty much contemplated worthiness all morning and early afternoon.


In the early afternoon, I was looking through Instagram and this story stopped me in my tracks.




Ummmm, yeah.


I immediately downloaded Worthy on Audible, and started listening. I mean, I know a sign when I see one.


When I say this book is everything and exactly what I needed to hear, I cannot overstate this enough. I took a lot of notes, and it was truly a balm to my soul.


Here are some of my nuggets so far:


⚪️ Self Worth vs Self Confidence: Self worth is inherent and the internal belief that you are worthy just as you are. It's about your inward identity. Self confidence is how you evaluate yourself and your abilities. It's outward factors and can fluctuate throughout life, depending on external factors.


The idea is that you should have self worth and that it's ok for your confidence to vary depending on your abilities and the situation you are in. 


⚪️ Rejection and Failure only mean rejection and failure when we decide they do. Reframe it, and the meaning changes. Maybe it is God's protection against something that is not aligned for you right now. You get to decide what it means.


⚪️ "Show up as yourself. You may be judged, but at least you will be free."


⚪️ If you live your life authentically, you're literally the first person who has ever done the thing that you are doing or are trying to do. There is only and ever will be one of you, so you are the first. So if someone says you are crazy or what you are trying to do has been done before, they are wrong. It hasn't been done by you, so it hasn't been done before.


⚪️ "When you ghost your own greatness, you risk doubting yourself out of your own destiny." 


I then went on to journal about where I am not being authentic in my life and where I feel less than. I did some of the reframing exercises. I have done a lot of work over the years, but it's amazing to me how many small, insidious beliefs I still manage to uncover. I learned some things about myself that I didn't realize. It gave me the opportunity to evaluate whether those beliefs aligned with who I am - or whether they were lies I somehow picked up over the years. 


I am not finished with the book yet; I am just over half way. When I went to bed that night, I already felt better. Then when I woke up the next morning, I felt more rested than I had in weeks.


What about you? Is worthiness something you have ever contemplated? I thought I had a good handle on what it meant, but this book helped me uncover layers to its definition that I hadn't considered. I am always thankful to books and articles or any material that allows me to uncover more truth. And what is more truthful than being inherently worthy of love and joy?! 


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